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Submitted on
August 11, 2012
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Alfred slammed another Corona on the counter. I looked at him with worry swirling in my (e/c) orbs.  He looked at me and smiled lovingly. I returned it with one of my own, but mine was considerably weaker. I thought back to this afternoon when this silly American told me about his challenge.


"Hey doll! Wait up!" Alfred, my boyfriend of 1 ½ years exclaimed to me. I turned around to face him, and was enveloped in a bear hug. I giggled a bit and inhaled his scent of Old Spice and McDonald's. It's a strange combination, I know, but as cliché as it sounds, he seemed to make it work.  We stayed like that for a few seconds and then parted. He gripped my shoulders and looked at me. I looked back with a questioning glance on my face. He then asked, "Can you be my designated driver tonight?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise and then he continued, "I'm sick and tired of being England's DD every week! He gets drunk after 1 bottle and then starts yelling at me about the Revolution. I mean, c'mon dude! That was like, 230 years ago! Let go already! And then, he goes on about how I can't hold my liquor! Well, tonight, I'm going to prove him wrong because I'm the hero and heroes can do anything!"  

I rolled my eyes and sighed. 'Oh Alfred,' I thought, 'you and your silly antics.' "Fine, I'll do it, but only for tonight." I said finally with mild irritation. "Thanks babe!" he exclaimed in his usual peppy voice and kissed me lightly on the cheek.  I smiled slightly as he took my hand in his and led me to his car to start his ridiculous challenge.

~Present Time~

It's been 2 hours since Alfred started this challenge. He's had around 10 Coronas and was thoroughly drunk. Numerous girls saw this and had tried to take advantage of him. I shot death glares at all of them and they, luckily, got the message and had left him alone. Of course, he'd been too busy getting drunk to notice them being the dense guy he was. I tried to get him to stop drinking, but he was being too stubborn. The bartender noticed this and slowly stopped handing him drinks. I thanked him and he nodded silently in return. I paid the bill (which, surprisingly, wasn't too much for me) and tried to haul my American boyfriend out of the bar.  Though he ate hamburgers by the dozen, he still seemed to be in shape, but that didn't mean he was easy to carry.  By some miracle, I managed to get him to the car, sat him down in the passenger seat and strapped him in. I quickly ran to the driver's seat and turned the car on. I knew that Alfred usually doesn't drink so his body wouldn't take in the alcohol nicely.  With that in mind and with an incoherent American mumbling about Superman and Big Macs, let's just say I was stressing out big time.

Soon, I managed to get to our house and had gotten him inside before his body decided it was time to throw up. Luckily, it only ended up on his shirt and jacket. I tried to steer him to the bathroom, but he was being stubborn and kept on asking why the bar looked like our house. Then, he turned to me and said, "Hey I know you! You're that chick that was in the bar with me!" I rolled my eyes and pushed him towards the bathroom. I managed to get his jacket off and was about to take off his shirt when he stopped me. He yelled, "Stop I have a girlfriend!" I looked at him in confusion and tried to take off his shirt again and he stopped me again. It took me a few minutes to realize what he was doing and then it hit me: he thought I was another girl. He was trying to stay faithful to me by pushing this "stranger" off of him.

I broke out in a foolish grin and started to giggle like a 2 year old. Alfred started to laugh too for whatever reason and then he passed out in the bathtub.  I sighed and then took his shirt off and cleaned him best as I could and went to bed, still thinking and smiling about what had happened a few minutes ago.

~Timeskip to the Morning~

"Ugh…babe, why am I in the bathtub? And, why does my head hurt?" Alfred groaned the next morning. I walked inside and said, "Good morning, Mr. Hero. Sleep well?" He nodded slowly then started to rub his temples. Then, Alfred said, "Oh, I remember now! Hey, while I was in the bar, some chick tried to take my shirt off! I said, 'No way, babe, I already have a girlfriend, so hands off!' Pretty impressive, huh?"

'Oh, he remembers that but he didn't realize it was me?' I thought while smiling and saying, "Yeah, thanks for that."  He winked at me and said, "No problem. And, what can I say? The ladies love me."  I rolled my eyes and said, "Whatever, hero. Now get ready for work.  You've got a story to tell to England, don't you?" and walked out of the bathroom.  "Heck yeah I do!" exclaimed Alfred and I cracked a small smile, grateful for having such a "heroic" boyfriend.

Yay! Another AmericaxReader! This is also my 25th deviation! Only 75 more to go to get to 100~! Anyways, I must say, I wasn't too satisfied with this fanfic, but I hope you guys can still enjoy!

America, England, Hetalia (c) :iconhimaruyaplz:

You (c) You or America

Story (c) Me
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DarkAngelLala Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014
ahwwwhaww how cute :3
IrysOpal Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lmfao xD
moonangel111 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Alfred you clueless sonofabitch
kurino-sama-alpha Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014
i hope i can find a man one day that will be like that for me; stay faithful, even when he's completely hammered.
and Alfie, you are so adorable. even when you're sloshed
sampea Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Lol, that was a funny one!
Dd727 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
That was f#*king awesome

Angeliquediabla Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013
I really love this one
XJumpinJellyBeansX Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013
when he said that line the ladies love me  i got pissed Off lmao!!! Ill be like Yeah right And than punch him in the face and say take a bath hobo and kiss him on the cheek lovely Hahaha....To much ?? Lol Happy Happy..Onion La la la Happy Happy..Onion La la la Happy Happy..Onion La la la APH: onion austria Follow me guys Choo choo!
sunshineanddaises112 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
....Is that Austria prancing around like Italy?
XJumpinJellyBeansX Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
Yesh indeed...APH: Onion Prussia 
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